We stayed in a public yard normally called face me I face you, so we the children of the house usually played together… everyone in our yard behaved like family, well why wouldn’t we, we heard basically everything that happened in our different homes.

Like every other normal day I went into Aunty Nancy’s room to greet and gist with her, she was with a friend that day and when I got in it was like they were trying to adjust themselves, but they were half naked… I tried excusing myself but they stopped me, she locked the room and asked me to join them, I protested and she threatened me with a knife.

I lost my virginity to two ladies, they did obscene things to me and I couldn’t protest as it got to a point I almost fainted. I wasn’t too young to know that what they did was a sin to God and they also violated me, I was aware but helpless, no one would believe me, and because they all saw her as a woman of God well she painted herself as one… she is a choir mistress in her church so everyone expects her to be very close to God.. I did too, I never knew she had this dark secret; everyone in the neighbourhood believes that’s why no man ever comes to visit her, now I know the real reason why.

I picked myself up when they were done and dressed up, she gave me some water and food to eat then she held me a while longer, cleaned my face and made sure I was fine before she let me go… when I got home they didn’t care to notice anything since I was in her room not anywhere else.

Days went by I avoided her like a plague until she sent for me lying she wanted to send me on an errand, I knew what she wanted but I didn’t want anyone to notice or know anything, I went and she locked the door and the episode that followed was the same as the first.

After the first month of my first experience with her, I began wanting it myself, I started getting attracted to girls and I initiated the other girls in the compound into it, they enjoyed it, as we all began getting exposed to pornography by Aunty Nancy of course… it continued that way until we moved away and I went to the university, but the damage had already been done I guess…

I went to school and continued with that lifestyle, but I had to hide it anyways, I wasn’t in the western countries where it’s overlooked… I had a girlfriend and a boyfriend,  and I always had sex with them both, only I enjoyed it more with my girlfriend and just managed with my boyfriend, it continued that way until my boyfriend found out and threatened to release my nudes if I didn’t let him have his way with my girlfriend and I, I couldn’t do that, my girlfriend didn’t even know I had a boyfriend… I pleaded and pleaded but he didn’t bulge and eventually it happened, he released not only my nude but he did a video of my girlfriend and I. I was devastated, so was my girlfriend and she later committed suicide and I became the talk of the town and school and also a target for cult boys…

I became depressed and distressed, I couldn’t concentrate on my studies anymore which made my grades suffer, I left school and went home, I’m currently thinking of suicide, my parents still don’t know, they’re always busy with work, so I was left in my own little world, thinking of the worst that could happen.

I cut myself, watching the blood flow out of my veins as I also watch my little world come crumbling as I fade away…..

40520cookie-checkI Wish I Never Went

Testing the waters....

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