I knew I was going to meet him, it was the wedding of one of our mutual friends, his friend actually, I met her through him when we were in a relationship , she is getting married to his cousin we introduced her to . I kept lying to myself that I was going for the wedding cos of my friend not him, but my heart was feeling different.
It was 3 years since the last time we met, that fateful day, the day he pulled my heart off my chest and smashed it. I didn’t understand why I wanted to see him again, to see how he’s doing, to look into his eyes and search for that thing that attracted me to him, to tell him how much I hate him for what he did.
As my driver drove into the building i took a look at my sky blue lace gown that showed my full curves and exposed some part of my cleavage. I looked into my hand mirror and adjusted my lipgloss, I opted for a light makeup and a pony tail to reveal my face structure and highlight my honey brown eyes.. the part of my body he adored. Uhhhh why am I thinking about him?
I was late for the reception, the traffic on 3rd mainland bridge didn’t help matters, I got there and everyone was seated looking at the couple, I tried to cut corners to find a seat but the empty seat I sighted was in the middle of the hall so I had to walk down the aisle.. I raised my head up smiling and walking in like I was on a runway, I felt everyone looking at me, girls whispering, boys drooling and then I noticed someone looking at me fiercely when I was almost at my seat. As I tried to get a better view of the person, our eyes met, it was him “Rotimi” the guy who smashed my heart 3 years ago , and beside him was a beautiful girl helping him pull something from his beards … I could feel my heart shatter again and again . What is it about this guy? After 3 years and I still haven’t gotten over him? What did he do to me?
I saw her standing at the door looking for a place to seat, her beautiful brown eyes shining from the light that was hitting it, she pouted her lips the way she does when she isn’t satisfied, I wanted to stand up that minute, go to her and guide her to a seat. I saw her walking down the aisle.. oh Ebun, she always liked attention.. I noticed the way the men were looking at her with so much lust as she swayed her hips confidently and I wanted to break all their heads, my cousin beside me was adjusting something on my beards when she looked at me, her eyes piercing mine. My knees melted and my heart started beating faster. I needed to speak to her, I had to explain what happened that day. I have missed her all these years and we needed to settle it today, once and for all.
I had been calling my driver for almost an hour now. I needed to go early for the private after wedding party, I hadn’t even said congratulations to the bride and groom yet. I stood up and walked outside scanning to environment for someone I know that can take me, when I felt my stomach rumble. “Oh no! Not now” I said then I perceived a familiar scent.. that beautiful masculine intoxicating scent , I looked back to check who it was and it was him. The sudden shock made me almost fall but someone held me.
I saw her tapping her feet on the ground continuously, that meant she either wanted to use the convenience, she was angry or both. I hated the fact that I knew her so much and seeing her in an uncomfortable situation was hard for me, I needed to help her.. when I got close to her and she turned then slipped , i hurried to grab her but some bastard got her before me. I stood still and let them exchange pleasantries then I walked close to her, she turned and looked at me.. her eyes piercing deep into my heart and reminding me of how much I love and miss her.
Can I help you Rotimi ? I managed to say after he stood there for so long looking lost .. ” I saw you tapping your feet continuously, I just wanted to check if you’re ok” he said I was flattered, he still knew so much about me.. I stood there with my cheeks flushing red then managed to whisper ” I’m fine, thank you” As he turned to leave, my tummy rumbled and I screamed ” Rotimi , where is your car”?
When she asked where my car was I felt something leave my body, I felt alive, I will drive with her after so many years.. I couldn’t stop imagining all the things we did while driving together years back , Even if I knew we were not the same people I was still very excited . As I got into the car after opening the door for her.. I couldn’t speak, I didn’t even know where we were going or what she wanted but I just kept moving.. I knew she wanted me to say something, to explain what happened that night, to beg for forgiveness. I knew I needed to but suddenly I was dumb.
I regretted getting into the car with him, he sat there driving and concentrating like he was in a competition. He was acting like he had forgotten what happened to us, what he did to me. I needed him to apologize, I needed him to say something.. I wanted closure for God sake. Where was he taking me to? Did he know what I wanted to do? I decided to sit down there and stay quiet even if the silence was so deafening. It was killing me.
As I drove into the hotel where the after party was taking place,I was feeling a bit relieved.. she will go down and into the party, I can go into my room and wallow in sadness. When did I become such a coward? Why couldn’t I say anything? I looked at her and she was rubbing her tummy.. I knew she needed to use the convenience so I managed to say. ” will you mind using the toilet in my room?” She turned and looked at me with anger written all over her face. “Where is your room”? She asked and opened the car door.
I was so angry at the fact that he knew so much about me? How did he know I had a problem with my tummy? I stared at the toilet mirror for what seemed like forever, I couldn’t believe I was alone In a room with him, it sent electrifying sensations down my spine making me remember the magic we created everytime we were in the room together. How much he knew my body and how much he pleasured me.. All that was over now and I needed to leave him, leave his room , drop all the thoughts of him and move on. 3 years is too long to be stuck in love with someone that couldn’t apologize.
She stayed in the bathroom for so long, I wanted to go in there and check if she was ok but I didn’t want to see her half naked. I sat down at the tip of the bed sweating, searching for the right words to say to her. Does she still love me? Is there any need to explain what happened to her? If she refused to listen to me 3 years ago and cut me off like I was nothing. Will she listen to me now? I kept on thinking and asking myself questions when the toilet door opened and she walked out, I stood up moving close to her , it was like a magnetic force pulling me to her until our bodies were half inches apart and we were breathing the same air. I looked up at her face, our eyes speaking to each other… I closed my eyes and leaned forward to kiss her.
I was yearning for his touch, for the feel of his hands on my skin. He leaned forward to kiss me and I pushed him, adjusted my hair and walked towards to door.
” He must think I’m stupid” I thought.
” I’m sorry Ebun” I heard him say with a very soft tone just before I opened the door ” I really hope you forgive me” he added pleadingly
I stopped and turned leaning on the door and staring at him
” I wish you’ll come and sit down here and listen to everything that happened 3 years ago ” he said before sitting on the bed and cleaning a part beside him for me.
As i walked to the bed , I couldn’t stop thinking about that night, his birthday when I walked into his office and caught him kissing a lady passionately. I knew he was working late and I wanted to surprise him with a cake and wine. I could still remember the look on the lady’s face when I caught them like she had won. I didn’t want anything to do with him again but here I am in the same room with him after 3 years and all I wanted was to hold him , kiss him and make passionate love to him.
As she sat beside me , I couldn’t help but inhale her sweet scent of jasmine and roses, I moved my hand to her thighs but I stopped, I needed to apologize, I betrayed her, I broke her heart. This was my opportunity to tell her the truth, it was time to set myself free.
“I was expecting you to come to my office on that day, it was 7 pm already and I hadn’t seen you” I narrated when she turned and looked at me… her eyes piercing deep into my soul like she wanted to read my thoughts … I adjusted and continued
” when the receptionist called saying a lady was waiting to see me, I just told her to let the person in without asking who it was, I thought it was you” she smiled and started playing with her fingers I continued
” When I saw her, my ex I told you about, the one that kept hurting herself everytime I threatened to leave, I was shocked. I asked her to leave and even threatened to call security but she was with a knife and threatened to Stab herself if I don’t kiss her, I had to and just when I was about to detangle myself from her you walked in”
“It didn’t look like you were about to detangle yourself when i walked in , from what I can remember ” she said sarcastically “you seemed to be so into the kiss, you didn’t realize I walked in ” her voice sounded hurt
” it is true I didn’t realize you walked in but I definitely wasn’t enjoying the kiss ” I said hoping it’ll make her feel better.
“So you expect me to clap my hands for you? And tell you well done from stopping your ex from stabbing her self? ” she asked”
” you could have called the security or ran out from the office, you could have done something else if you really loved me Rotimi” she added
Those words hurt me so much, how could she think I didn’t love her? Granted I made a mistake but I deserve forgiveness. I won’t sit here and watch her accuse me of not loving her. Here I was seated beside her begging her for forgiveness after 3 years.. when I can be somewhere else with someone else. The way she called my name without any emotions frightened me.. what if she didn’t love me anymore? I couldn’t bear the thought of it .