Scold of Death

Occasionally, I have wondered so many times and I am still in wonder just because I haven’t being able to get out of the hangover of why didn’t God created the woman first? Do you have the answer to that or can you give a clue to that genesis of creation of mortals? Have you ever been confronted with the phrase that goes thus, “God made man first” and so what if He does? Well, in my own opinionated imaginative thought, I have tried overtime to correlate the saying “save the best for the last” with the creation of the first woman (Eve). I honestly can’t tell if what I just pointed out what makes sense to you reading this or you’d probably just assume I’m being feministic but anyway, here is my story…

…Last night, for several hours, Udeme punished me, telling me, “I’m going to choke you until you pass out” and then you’d know that I am the man of this house and when I’m through with you, I will take you out to a secluded place, slit your throat, and no one will ever know what happened.

In the morning he woke up, dressed up and left for work without saying a word, needless to say he untied me before he left, I lay on the bed with my face in the sheets, and I cried, I cried so hard my lungs and throat hurt, I only raised my head when the nanny came in, I quickly shut my room door and gave her instructions on what to do with my daughter Kimilehin.

I got to the hospital and asked to see matron Tina, she was shocked when she saw me, she could only just control herself from screaming, she scolded me and threatened to call the police, but I assured her that this time, I had it all under control, Mrs. Benson she said, I beg you with everything you hold dear, leave that man, he is going to kill you eventually, think of the child you have now, do you want her exposed to such a life, hasn’t she been through enough, those words sent a shiver down my spine, and at that very moment I realized it was not just about me anymore, it was about me and Kimilehin, and this time I was going to put a stop to it. The next thing I did was get a new number and called Chika my friend, I told her everything that had happened, naturally she was outraged, but I calmed her down, told her everything. was going to be alright, you see, at the point I had an unusually calm demeanor, I was not going to make any hasty decisions, my exit had to be perfect, and I was formulating a plan.

All I needed was one perfect opportunity to execute my plan, and while I waited I began to strategize on the best way to pay Udeme back for all the years of pain and suffering, I know I can’t get those years back, but I was going to make him pay. I did a lot of research and my plan was taking shape, it was only a matter of time.

On the 1st of June 2006, the opportunity presented itself, it was a hard opportunity, but I was willing to make the sacrifice, Myself and Kimilehin were driving back from a weeknight church service when I decided to stop for ice cream; we pulled into an eatery, which made us 20 minutes late getting home. Udeme had gone out looking for us, and when he returned home, fully aware of this infraction and furious, he ordered me to take Kimilehin to bed.
Finally, after series of beating and punching to what seemed like an eternity, struggling on the bed, we fell in a heap onto the floor, and a burst of searing pain shot up my back; I could barely move. I was in such agony that Udeme had to lift me back onto the bed for our ritual makeup sex. Even then, he ordered me to get on top of him. The level of violence he reached that night was like nothing I’d ever experienced, “I didn’t know what he was capable of doing beyond that, and I didn’t want to find out.”


He fell asleep after we were done ,and I got off the bed and prepared some breakfast for him, but before I left the room, I took one last look at him, and for the first time I smiled, and walked out. I prepared his breakfast and brought it to him in bed, I woke him up gently and whispered how sorry I was in his ear, yes I was the submissive wife, you see after years of abuse, Udeme had taught me how switch between characters with the greatest of ease.

He rose up, looked at me and said “you see how easy life can be if you behave yourself, and with that he ate and took his coffee, when he was done he stood up and tried to walk to the bathroom, I could see he stumbled a bit, but he probably thought it was due to what had transpired the night before, I went downstairs, and called out to him to come take a look at some things I had for him, I was standing at the foot of the stairs, he walked to the head of the stairs looking very stunned, his eyes were a bit swollen and he could hardly support himself, knowing Udeme the way I did, I knew his ego would never allow him admit he was weak, and so he attempted to walk down the stairs, and that’s when it happened, he missed the first step, and he came tumbling down in a heap, I watched him roll down the stairs and I didn’t move an inch, I could hear his bones crack as he hit each stair and he landed right in front of me, he was conscious but could not move, I stared at him for a minute, I could see the look of both pain and surprise in his eyes, he attempted to say something, but I quickly put a polythene bag over his head and watched him choke until he passed out, I checked his pulse, he was still alive, so I quickly ran up the stairs, picked Kimilehin up from her bed and came back down, he was still unconscious, so I picked up my phone and called the hospital, I explained what had happened and an ambulance was sent over.

Udeme was taken to the hospital, and we followed behind in my car, I called my mother and told her what had happened, so she met us at the hospital and took Kimilehin home. The doctors confirmed he had a broken spine, he was paralyzed from the neck down, they had also carried out a scan of his head, noticed some swelling in the brain and confirmed he had suffered partial brain damage, to put it mildly, my dearest Udeme had been reduced to nothing but a semi-vegetable, and in my assumed form of panic, I asked what the implications were, and I was informed that he would probably be in need of external care for the rest of his natural life, unless a miracle happened, don’t hold your breath, miracles don’t happen for demons.

I walked out of the hospital a few days later, with a sigh of relief, for the first time in a very long time, I could feel the rays of the sun, and the cool air blowing around me, don’t judge me, and was I happy, you damn right I was. Udeme was in the hospital for a couple of months, he showed very little signs of improvement, and you could tell he understood everything that went on around him, but was powerless to do anything about it. Shortly before he was discharged from the hospital, I came into his room, and sat beside him, bent over and kissed him on the fore head and told him how he got here.

I loved you Udeme, I gave up my womanhood for you, I gave up my sanity and my humanity for you, I gave you my life, and all you gave me in return was horror and sorrow, this was no accident my dear husband, remember when I served you breakfast in bed, after that night when you chocked me and turned me into a common whore, that night made me realize no amount of love was worth all the abuse, so I slipped some drugs into your coffee, don’t bother asking how I got it, desperate times called for desperate measures, but you were too blind and proud to realize something was wrong with you, I watched you fall, and with every crack of your bones it was like a chain being broken from my life, I put the bag over your head for just the right amount of time to knock you out, you see Udeme I had done my research, killing you was going to be too easy for me, so I did this instead, and well I guess mother luck was on my side, I want you to re-live the horror you put me through these past 5years, I want you to have a taste of hell, before you actually go there, you are my dear husband, ”for better or for worse” remember”?
Thank you for giving me Kimilehin, she made it all worth it, you are nothing but an animal Udeme, a coward, a vile being, and I will savor every moment of your pain and suffering, I will watch you soil yourself, and I will watch you be the helpless little man you really are, your tears will be like nectar to me, and your pain will be like cold water on my skin”.

I walked out of the room……..and signed his discharge papers. These days life has returned back to normal, Kimilehin is growing up healthy and strong, my ad agency is doing very well, I don’t look over my shoulder anymore, I still have nightmares once in a while, but I know it will pass, as for Udeme, he is kept upstairs with his nurse who attends to him, and every now and then I walk up to his room and stare at him for minutes, I smile and finally walk away from the scold of death.

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Heaven Kelechi Kalu is a Cook, Creative writer, Stage Actor, 2016 Award Winner at the Inshort Film Festival, Content Developer, Screenwriter, with many years’ experience in writing. He has written and shot short films: Caritas Chase, Breast Cancer Awareness film, Stance (A UNICEF campaign film) and Reverie. He has participated in several writing competitions and still does till date. He studied Business Administration at the Ogun State Polytechnic Igbesa, Ogun State.

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