This story is one that always makes me cringe whenever I remember it. Omg!!!!!! I can never forget that day in my life. The only reason I share this story is because it makes people laugh.
This happened in the year 2012.
I was on industrial training at Mopson Pharmaceutical Company, Lagos, Nigeria. It was an interesting experience and apparently, that was my first year in Lagos.
On this faithful day, work went fine and smooth. Nothing at all went wrong. My body system was perfect. Work for that day ended by 5pm. I parked my notepad, my laptop and everything I came to work with then left the office.
i was taking a walk to the bus stop with two other female friends. Few minutes to the stop, I felt this irregular rumble in my stomach. I ignored and kept walking and talking. The rumble came again and this time it went from my stomach down to my bowel. My Lord!!! I was going to have diarrhoea!! Noooooooooo!!!! WHAT!!! I began sweating like I was being chased by the police.
I quickly dismissed my friends without telling them what was happening to me at that moment. The first bus I saw, I quickly joined without thinking of the price the “conductor” was asking for. It was higher than the usual price but I didn’t care because to me, it was a life/death experience.
While I was in the bus, I was sweating profusely. The lady sitting beside me was so concerned about the young man who was vibrating and sweating beside her she had to ask “is everything okay, are you alright?” I replied “Yes Ma, I’m fine. Thank you”. She said “Okay’ and turned to the window. I couldn’t wait to get to my bus stop. I don’t know why when a person is in a tensed situation such as this, everything and everyone seems slowww 😭.
Finally, we got to my bus stop. I ran out of the bus with great acceleration, crossed the road and straight to where i could get a bike.
Shakily, I told the bike guy in Pidgin I was headed to “Church Bus stop” he replied “hundred naira”. I replied “Ah, I have only fifty naira” but he refused to take me to my location for that amount. I then said “oya, take me to half that distance please”. I just needed to leave that place. The shit was almost out of my ass. I was literally walking with my legs tightly closed.
The bike guy agreed then carried me to the fifty naira worth distance. Before he got to the place i was going to alight, I made sure I gave him his money so I won’t have to stand for any micro second.
Immediately I alighted, I began running home. I was praying while I was running. I said “God, please don’t let this shit come out. Help me endure till I get home. Please God, Please”. I was literally crying while I was running and praying with my legs still tightly closed. Imagine that scene 😭.
I looked up “Praise God, i’m almost home” I said to myself as I could home from a distance. I was getting closer and closer. i couldn’t wait to sit in the toilet and let this watery demon out of my system.
I got home but there was another challenge. The apartment was on the second floor. “You are almost there” I said to myself. I gently climbed till I got to the second floor only for the worst thing i could ever imagine to happen.
I got to the door and it was locked!!!! My Folks weren’t back yet and I didn’t have the key with me.
Immediately I saw this, I just let go. I let go 😭😭😭! I Shit myself. Lorddd!!!
The poop wouldn’t stop coming out. While this was happening; me embarrassing myself, I remembered the security house at the gate had a toilet. I ran down and went straight there to finish the pooping.
After casting all the demon out, I cleaned up, took my shorts off then waited for my family members to come back.
Minutes later, they were back.
I just walked upstairs, went straight to the bathroom, had my bath, cleaned up and didn’t even say anything to anyone.
I kept saying to myself “What just happened young man?”
Will never forget that day, EVER!!!