The cold September mornings always brought with it an air of foreboding, like the earth was about to unravel a new mystery. It was no different this morning, as I stepped out after being indoors for quite some time. As I took my place, I scanned the faces of other onlookers, each one bearing a myriad of emotions, fear and excitement, grief and anticipation. Who could blame them? Like them, I had never witnessed an execution before.
As the soldiers marched forward to take their place in front of the damned, I thought of her. Of her smile, how her eyes held the wonders of everything beautiful in the world. I thought of how lucky I was to have someone like her as a sister, a confidante.
I thought of how, despite how good she was, life could still be so unkind to her. I thought of the night everything changed, the night I made everything change. For a moment, I actually hated myself for not acting sooner. Maybe things could have been different, just maybe. He was supposed to be her first line of defense, but he exploited her vulnerability in ways so despicable, so unimaginable, the mere thought of it made me retch a little inside. I thought of how things might have been easier had mum still been alive. He kept saying we killed her, like we had any control over how she died while birthing us. I scoffed. The devil always needs an excuse to be evil.
I looked at the sky. Even the clouds seemed ominous as they drifted by, spewing little droplets of rain. Rain. I thought of how free the rain was, falling wherever it pleases. Maybe now she could be as free as the tiny raindrop that slid down my arm. Now that she was out of his reach forever. I smiled, knowing that he’ll never violate her again. Glad that she won’t spend sleepless nights dreading the sound of his footsteps at the hallway anymore. She could finally live free and find peace. I should feel sad that I won’t be here to see her pull through life, but I wasn’t. As long as his shadow was no longer over her, I was satisfied.
I closed my eyes and waited for the sound that I never heard.